Sexuality
Sexuality
Specialties
Sexuality
Your sexual health is important. Your sexual self is important. Exploring your sexuality can be a powerful way to improve your relationships with others and with yourself.
I have provided sexual therapy to individuals and couples for many years. Taking time to address issues about your sexual functioning can be very rewarding.
If you struggle with specific sexual problems this can negatively impact your sexual pleasure and sexual satisfaction, for example,
- achieving orgasm
- erectile difficulties
- ejaculation concerns
- pain during intercourse
You may also suffer from low sexual desire, a lack of interest in sex or difficulty transitioning into sexual activities. This can be a significant source of anxiety, stress and can often create conflicts within relationships.
Being confused or challenged by your sexual identity, your sexual preferences, your sexual orientation and/or your gender are also important issues which I am happy to discuss with you.
All relationships are unique. Your relationship might be monogamous or non-monogamous. It might involve one or multiple partners. Different relationship structures may have different needs. Specific relationships styles experience unique struggles that can be addressed in individual or couples therapy.
Alternatively, you may be preoccupied by sexual thoughts, engage in too much sex or engage in risky or illegal sexual behaviors. Being preoccupied with sex can lead to difficulties within your relationships, at work and it can eventually lead to problems with the law.
My practice has always been focused on addressing sexual issues because I believe that it is essential to have positive, healthy and fulfilling sexual experiences. As difficulties with your sexuality can negatively impact both you and your partner(s), identifying and addressing these concerns could improve your life.
Being sexually preoccupied is sometimes called sexual addiction. Problems with seeking too much sex can lead to difficulties in your life. Here is more information about sexual preoccupation.
“I’m worried that sex is taking up too much of my time”, “I watch too much porn and can’t seem to stop”, “Seeking casual sexual partners has become my main focus”. At times, it can feel like sexual thoughts are overwhelming and taking a toll on your everyday activities. It is a good idea to consider evaluating the impact of your sexual behaviors on your life. This is especially true when you or others have expressed concerns about the amount of sexual activity that you are experiencing each day.
People may engage in frequent casual sexual relationships with strangers. They may also pay strangers to have sex with them. These activities involve taking risks including risking your personal safety as well as your health. People can become overwhelmed by Internet pornography, watching many hours of adult sexual content each day.
Others may engage in sexual activity when angry, sad, upset or bored in an effort to improve their mood or to avoid facing personal problems. This can lead to relying on sexual experiences to cope with daily problems. Using sex to cope with emotions often leads to difficulties in relationships, an overuse of sex or masturbation and increased struggles when a sexual partner is not available to you.
Changing your behavior requires consistent observation, attention to the problem at hand and proactive goal setting. Setting relevant, achievable goals and monitoring your success in achieving those goals is essential. Having a plan and sharing your plan with others who can provide honest, objective feedback about your behaviors can also be very helpful. I am happy to assist you in this journey. Ignoring sexual problems may appear like an easy solution but in the long run, it is best to address sexual concerns to create a balanced approach to your sexuality
What about sexual consent? It may be important to explore this topic in more detail as you are considering whether you would like to address your sexual choices and sexual behaviors in therapy.
For many people, when they go out, they have spent time, money and energy planning the perfect date or the perfect evening. They may be excited about getting to know new people or hoping to have sex during the evening.
What about establishing consent? If you are like most people, you probably have given more thought to the elements of the evening itself rather than to the task of establishing consent if a sexual opportunity occurs.
Many people rely on non-verbal cues to establish sexual consent. You may believe: “I’ll know when they want to have sex”, “I can tell if they are interested” or “There is no need to ask them if they want to have sex, it’s obvious”. Unfortunately, it is quite easy to misread someone within a sexual situation. Non-verbal sexual consent is not consent.
Consent is established by asking a person whether or not they wish to engage in a sexual activity with you. It is always favourable to ask your partner clearly. Look for enthusiastic consent, this means that someone is actively saying yes they want to have sex with you. You do not lose anything by clearly asking for consent; in fact communicating clearly about consent is proof that you are truly being attentive and caring of the wishes and the well being of your sexual partner.
See the relationships page for more information about the sexual changes that occur with aging.